Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She's the barista slut.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
