I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
