drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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