Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
