Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
