If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
