a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
