Your mouth is God's brothel.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
tell me about the fingering
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
