The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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