I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
