have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
