drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
