i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
