Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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