my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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