I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
They have beer where we have blood.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
