Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
