Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
