Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
