I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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