R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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