she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
