Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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