there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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