I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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