you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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