Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
