If i come over, it means nothing
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
