Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At least life still wants to fuck me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
