So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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