with your own penis?
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
