Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
