Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
