At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
