He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
