trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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