I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
