Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
