hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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