Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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