:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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