are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
