Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
