this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
