Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
