This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
