um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
