A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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