The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
