hotel room ftw
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
