You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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