sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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