she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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